This was originally published as part of yesterday’s The Moka-Lattay-Cheeno-Presso Writer, but I decided to make it a standalone post instead. Mondays are made for humorous rants (and coffee).
Believe it or not, the events below are things I’ve actually seen happen. So, here we go.
Coffee Shop Etiquette that Really Should be Common Sense
- I don’t care how nicely manicured your feet are. Please do not take your shoes off.
- While sitting on a shared wall seat, don’t shake your leg. We can all feel the seat move.
- A single should not sit at a table large enough to accommodate four or six or even eight. I don’t care how many books you have.
- Don’t hog bandwidth by playing Starcraft or watching porn.
- Support your local coffee shop. Buy something. Don’t bring fast food into the establishment then get huffy when you’re asked to leave.
- Use the outlet by your table. Not the one on the other side of the store.
- Don’t let your children run around screaming like banshees. Their toys do not belong all over the floor.
- Don’t shush someone who’s having a conversation. It’s a freaking coffee shop. Go to the damn library if you need absolute silence.
- Ladies, if you’re going to use the restroom, don’t pee all over the seat.
- Also, the weirdo who bags her poo and THEN dumps it into the toilet causing it to flood all over the place needs to stop. Please, for the love of all that is holy, STOP.